Daily Archives: October 25, 2019

A motoring post.

Well, since I’ve been to Mallorca to get trained in a new technology 
product and wrote about it for work, I thought I’d share that 
here if that’s okay? (Without the environmental commentary that’s 
an inevitable part of the conversation. 
Buy me a locally brewed beer and we’ll talk offline yeah?)

Porsche Taycan (say Por-Shur-Tie-Can)

But is it a sports car? Of course it bloody is.

First big clue? It’s got a Porsche badge on it.

It moves like a sports car, it feels like a sports car…


Only fasterer.

Brain scrambling, neck damaging fast.

A four seat 911, but quicker.

Operating procedure

Get in, belt up, press button, drive.

It actually has you wondering if it’s a visitor from the future, science fiction made fact.

Squeeze the go pedal and it wafts along gently like a Porsche video game. Gently, whisper around town without effort, without a whiff of emissions.

Leave the urban scene, mash the pedal and… hold on.

Back a step

Before you mash the pedal, you warn, nay tell, your passengers to put their heads back and, well, hold on.

Because? Because when you unleash the stonk this vehicle possesses, the distant horizon you started with gets closer eversoquickly. (All the Porsche people are shocked by how rapid it is.) With my sensible, Teutonic colleague alongside, we were giggling like naughty schoolboys every time we gunned it. Indeed, the effect is akin to being fired from some unseen giant gun. On one road test section – no traffic, a good surface and input from a Porsche driving instructor – my sense of the phrase “pressing on” has been forever recalibrated.

Eerily quiet, super smooth, just sheer wallop. Grip, turn the wheel and point to where you want and go.

And if you have too much speed from all the whizz? No dramas. We mercilessly tested both acceleration and the deceleration on a race circuit. It stops with a violence that makes it safe (and some passengers puke). If you fail to stop this car, it’s going to be driver error: the hardware is more than up to the task. Stamp on the pedal: brutal stoppage. (Top Tip: Don’t follow one too closely. It will be able to stop in a shorter distance than you can foolish mortal.)

Want to be transported? Cruise in a hushed cabin, listen to iTunes, chat.

Want batshit crazy? Flex your right foot.

Want to stop in a hurry? Press the other pedal as hard as you need to.

Is it silent? No.

At slow speed EU law mandates a noise to warn pedestrians:  the engineers have synthesised a sampled version of the car’s gubbins that gets played to the outside via a speaker. (An app: how very modern.) It sounds – by design – like a piece of space hardware from Hollywood. Inside, you can program it to make sounds too. Spacey, appropriate, subtle but adding a touch of theatre. Or turn it off: your call. We found ourselves cruising around in reverential silence, not speaking, simply enjoying the ride.

It’s also easier to drive than anything I’ve piloted before.

So, an electric car. Yes. Although that’s missing the point. It’s a sports car first, a luxury car, a rather splendid car that is – as it happens – powered by volts. The automotive world has officially moved on: many modern, current production cars are now relics. Manufacturers will aspire to beat/match this car with the bar has been set incredibly high.

What of that temperamental, spluttering, noisy thing in the garage? Y’know with, haha, an internal combustion engine? How quaint! Now that becomes a weekend toy/relic/museum piece*.

*Delete as appropriate. When you are going to stump up £83k+ for a 4 seat car, you’re not short of transport options right?

True story

We met a slender, elegant, relaxed, stylish, monied northern European couple at a high end “olive oil stopover” – a road-tour training location – and we chat. He’s ordered one. Can we do a “drive by” for him to check out the sound?

Of course.

“What do you think?”


Turns out… dude has fifteen cars already. Most of them Porsches. 60% of pre-orders are from this sector. The age profile for the 40% new to the brand? Younger, more ladies, more “eco-aware” people. 30,000 deposits for this car taken already.

I might never be the same again. The car game has changed (And not before time).

Ciao ciao from Palma airport on a Friday night.

Senor Cervesa



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